Divorce can completely change your family dynamic. Your children will notice these changes and could react in a number of different ways depending on age and maturity.
Given the uncertainty, it is not unlikely for your children to experience resentment, anger, sadness, confusion and even guilt. Facilitating their understanding and healing will require patience and unconditional love.
Your split might create a lot of questions for your children. They may want to know what happened, how the changes will impact them and whether or not their situation is a temporary one. Communication can do a lot to alleviate their concerns. Set aside time for meaningful discussions. Customize your explanation of events to make it appropriate for your children’s maturity levels.
Outside of your effort to listen to and answer your children’s concerns, you will also need to communicate with your soon-to-be ex. This could present many challenges, particularly if you resent your former spouse. However, make it your goal to establish a cordial and professional relationship where you can communicate about general topics in a calm manner. Avoid tense discussions around your children and refrain from speaking negatively about your ex in front of them as well.
A solid routine will do wonders to ease your children’s transition to the changes brought upon by your split. According to U.S. News, despite your divorce, your goal should be to help your children develop a healthy and lifelong relationship with both parents. A reliable routine with some shared similarities between households can provide comfort, familiarity, reassurance and excitement for your children. When they know what they can expect from you and your ex, they can have the confidence to move on with life.
Even though divorce can be really hard, it can also bring a lot of good and exciting opportunities with it. Your ability to help your children see this perspective may reduce the negative repercussions of your split from creating lifelong challenges.